It is with mixed emotions as I watch the wedding dress I never got to wear being auctioned off for the upcoming Make A Wish charity auction this Saturday the 27th October. I have never actually talked about the failure of that relationship publicly except for one article published anonymously in Cosmopolitan magazine just after the raw and far too real breakup that broke my heart.
The only consolation is that it will be going to a very good cause and one of my favorite charities and was the very reason I gave the dress to Make A Wish – I wanted something good to come of what was a heart breaking but also very frightening time of my life.
I’m not going to go into it in detail but suffice to say I found myself a victim (and I really hate that word) of Domestic Violence – I loved a man who could not control his anger but wanted to control me (and my son). We lived in fear, anger and denial (I didn’t want to admit I had fallen for the wrong guy and I kidded myself forever that things would get better). I lost friends, family, work and self-respect. I was hurt, often, physically and emotionally and yet no one will ever understand how I can love and miss him to this day. Well, I know one person who can – Rhianna, I watch her being pulled back into the Chris Brown relationship and know how easy it is to think that somehow your leopard will change their spots. Statistics have shown they don’t and I vowed I would never ever ever go back and I haven’t. (Please note the relationship I refer to is NOT the one mentioned in Wikipedia).
I literally escaped under the cover of darkness, taking whatever would fit in my car, hiding in an undisclosed location, with police protection and moved on with my life knowing I was doing the right thing but it not making that decision any easier. I think of him every day, I miss him every day but I will never ever subject myself to a life lived in fear of his uncontrollable anger, irrational rage, constant criticism, endless drinking sessions, 48 hour absences, and “accidental” and sometimes intentional physical outbursts. And if saving my life was not enough of a reason to leave, I had to leave for my son. It is my job to teach him how to be a man and real men don’t hit, belittle or betray the women they love, or any woman for that matter.
I always try to turn tough times into good whenever I can, and as much as selling the dress would help me out financially I know giving this dress to charity and seeing it used for something so admirable as The Make A Wish Foundation will give me the closure I need. I have always loved Make A Wish and still follow the young girl I was blessed enough to grant a wish to 8 years ago – she is now a young woman making her way in the world, still battling cystic fibrosis but living a full life regardless.
The dress has never even been tried on (I tried a version on in the shop and they shipped this one in, by which time I had already become the runaway bride). It is a Maggie Sottero Haute Couture Champagne wedding dress (I paid $4000 for it) and maybe one day I will have a chance to wear one of my own but in the meantime I want this to go for a good price to someone who wants a very much loved but untouched wedding dress full of the promise of love.
Please bid generously (it is LOT 200).
For more info on domestic violence : http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm