You can’t body shame me!

It’s interesting how quickly one simple comment or photo can turn into a village witch trial with Chinese whispers and lazy writers adding fuel to the fire by not only NOT fact checking, but simply making things up, distorting the truth with a few select words, turning something very innocent into something dirty and disgusting.

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Just this week I posted a pic to Instagram wearing a full body corset, that was FAR from revealing, I had stockings and shoes on and was wearing white shorts. I was pretty much covered “from head to toe”. I was wearing more clothes than I do at the beach or even that I see on the girls at the high school my son recently attended (I now home school him).

I was on my friend’s couch, in her living room and my son snapped a pic.  It was a great pic. It represented a curvy girl, happy in her appearance, relaxing and at ease, with body confidence, comfortable in her own skin.

I just happened to refer to my recently gifted hair extensions as “sexy” and I even referred to the corset as sexy. But let’s just pause for a second…. We refer to cars as sex on wheels, meals as food porn and my son, if he so chooses can beat and rape a woman on Grand  Theft Auto and is in fact encouraged to do so in order to earn more points/cash and credo in the game.

But no, somewhere in the code of online BS I am not allowed to let my son take a photo of me that is FAR from inappropriate all because of why? Please explain to me EXACTLY how that photo is wrong?  Hack writers are claiming I was wearing lingerie – I was not. An ivillage “journo” called Laura Hampson described it as “wearing barely there lingerie” and had me “posing seductively”, referring to it as “sensual” and “disturbing” and yet I was simply lying back ON A COUCH smiling. I didn’t have my breasts on display, in fact I didn’t even have my FULLY COVERED stockinged legs in the photo, I had no private parts uncovered or FACING to the camera and yet this author completely degenerated the actual truth and turned it into something smutty, dirty and inappropriate.

My son, who is nearly 16, wants to be a professional photographer. We snapped that shot in a fun moment after having shot me in wedding dresses and my friend in a bikini all day long. And if you want to see the actual photos we’d been shooting all day they are in this week’s Woman’s Day and are far from inappropriate, in fact they’re really quite awesome.

Why would you take that photo and make it dirty? Because I was just lying there resting my back (after a car accident I had been in a few days before had me in severe pain) and he said that would make a good photo. He was right. It was in fact, a replication of another photo I had done months before with a professional photographer, wearing even less clothing so it showed that he was watching and learning about what works as a pose. Yay for him!

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My son has Aspergers, and I know his career has “options” that may not all be available to him so when he shows promise and interest in something then I WILL support him.

He just asked me I was so depressed, which is interesting because traditionally Aspergers kids are not too empathetic but I have taught him well and he noticed I wasn’t my usual bubbly self as I sit here and home school him. I explained to him that people didn’t think it was right of me to have him take that photo. He couldn’t understand what was wrong with it. I explained that they felt it was inappropriate, that it was sexual, at which point he screwed up his nose and said,”Ewww, that’s not sexual. Why would they think that’s sexual? You look beautiful in that photo, that’s why I wanted to take it cause you looked so happy.” Then he was quiet for a moment and he said, “Why are people so mean to you mum? Why can’t they just be happy for you or even for me? How many other mum’s would do what they’ve done to help their kid? God, people are just so mean. And anyway I would never take sexy photos of anyone. You’ve taught me to respect women so I wouldn’t just treat them as sex objects. That’s not right.”

Hmmmmmm. It seems the only people making it sexual and inappropriate are the people writing about it. The dirt is on your hands, not mine.

He recently expressed interest in shooting models and actors for their portfolios so he could make some money to save up for a car (yes he’s not a baby, he’s a young man itching to get his first car) and the reality is with an internship coming up in 3 months time he will no doubt be exposed to much worse on the set each day than he ever would with me. So better he learn to act “appropriately” and to understand the difference between what is and is not acceptable and photographing your fully clothed mother in a happy moment is far from what some of you are making it out to be.

There was nothing sexy , creepy, shameful or even “disturbing” about it. Truth be told, my son has seen me naked a bunch of times. He’ll walk into the bathroom and have a chat even though I’d rather have some “Me time” with a trashy mag and a glass of wine, but I don’t make him feel shamed or embarrassed. Because the body in it’s natural form is just that – normal and beautiful and is NOTHING to be ashamed of.

It’s not like I’m posing with my legs open, boobs out and getting him to snap pics for playboy.  The idea that you would make a simple harmless fully clothed moment dirty is more shameful on the authors of those pieces who wrote them for NO good reason other than to bully and harass me because earlier in the week I had the COURAGE to call out someone who made a lot of money taking the ideas of others, obviously as shown to hold some truth to the matter by one journalist (Bianca Soldani) who actually bothered to do their research, and who unearthed another author who had complained of the very same issue.

There are very REAL threats to our children with sexualization everywhere.  There are also predators everywhere. And to lump me in with them is disgusting and shameful, damaging to me professionally and personally and the blame lies with you using your voice to paint me in such a way.  You took an innocent moment of a mother supporting her almost grown child in his chosen profession and YOU made it dirty by being a bunch of unprofessional, reckless online bullies !

Have some class. If you are going to call yourself a writer, report the truth, don’t drag someone through the mud simply because you aren’t motivated enough to research and/or write the truth or pen an article about something positive! How many of you have written about my anti bullying campaign now in its second year? Not many! How many of you have written about the video competition coming up at this year’s Comic-Con encouraging kids to enter and win awesome prizes and life changing career opportunities? Nope, not many of you at all.  Shame on you!

And for those who have written that I am wearing barely there lingerie, saying I exposed myself inappropriately to my child and inciting people to call the authorities on me, I expect a retraction in 24 hours or I WILL take legal action and that includes you @_LauraHampson from iVillage. Shame on YOU!

 

One Response to You can’t body shame me!
  1. sarah
    March 20, 2015 | 6:59 am

    I totally agree with everything u said. Good on u!! 🙂

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