There are rumours abuzz that Rhianna is back with Chris Brown. Hmmmm. Not making her decision easy is some extreme pressure for her to not give this guy the time of day (ever again) because of the message it sends to others. Double hmmmmm.

This is a subject I can speak of with a certain level of experience. I too loved a man like Chris Brown, a man who had “anger management” issues, a man who “accidentally” injured me way too many times (once is too many), and a man I love and miss to this day.

For people who have never been in this situation you cannot judge! You also can’t understand that the person behind the blows could be anything other than a monster but they are. The man I loved was witty, funny, articulate, intelligent, well read and whom I believed was my soul mate. A part of me aches for him every day. I miss the ninety percent that was pure bliss. I do not miss the ten percent that was pure heartbreaking soul destroying hell.

But when I kissed him goodbye, he thought I was just sending him off to work, completely unaware that I was about to run away forever and get police protection in doing so, I vowed to myself and for my son that I would never ever go back, and I haven’t but it has been NO walk in the park in doing that.…

Okay, so Excess Baggage moved to the GO Channel but we continued on healing our lives thanks to the generosity of Fremantle Media and Channel Nine. In a lot of circumstances like ours, production would have been stopped and people would have walked away with a simple shrug of the shoulders and an, “Oh well, we tried.” They’d have moved onto the next show and never given a thought to the people who thought they might actually finish what they started.

But precious lives were at stake here. Every one of us had sacrificed something, if not everything to commit to this process. We had bared our souls, some (i.e me), more than others (i.e Darren Lyons – more shallow than a footballer’s gene pool …I joke…funnily enough Darren and I have actually become closer than I ever thought possible), but there was no way they could open our hearts and our minds with a promise to fix them without actually doing so, no matter who may or may not be watching.

There’s no doubting Excess Baggage was subjected to very bad programming. There’s no shame in that. It’s an amazing show and will not only be sold around the world but OUR show will also AIR around the world, carving the way for television that actually makes a very REAL POSITIVE difference to those on and off camera – those making it and those watching it.…

Yes you read it right. Today I’m talking about the strange phenomenon of working in the public eye coupled with the accessibility of internet social media like Twitter and Facebook, giving people from your long lost past the opportunity to “relive those wonderful memories” you spent countless years in therapy trying to forget.

Let me explain by recreating what dropped into my Facebook inbox recently:

Hi Ajay,

I’m not sure if you remember me but we went to High School together. Haha they were funny times weren’t they? I always remembered you being so outgoing and funny I knew you were going to be successful and wow you just don’t stop and I’ve read all your books, I loved you on Biggest Loser and I am loving the new show Excess Baggage. You always did make the most out of whatever happened to you. Once a star always a star I guess LOL.

Anyway I hear that you live in LA now, wow, Hollywood next. Bet you’ll make it too! Me, well, I’m married and divorced and always dieting (just like you huh?) and now I’m thinking about getting into writing, maybe I will publish a book one day just like you too haha.…