“Look at you…” his eyes roamed up and down me in disgust, instantly assessing the apparent “worthiness” of me, somehow related to my body, in some world (his) where if perhaps I had been wearing cute little cut off shorts and a crop top versus the tracksuit pants and sweatshirt I had on, then somehow, “looking at me” would equate to me being “worthy” of whatever he had in his power he had to hold over me.

Kai and I had decided to go for a night time bike ride around Beverly Hills.

Yes, in tracksuit pants, sweatshirt, hair tied back to go under my helmet to set a good example for my son, and completely make up free, yay me and my complete disregard for whatever anyone thinks of me and my naked face!

So we pull up to the cross walk on the corner of Santa Monica and Rodeo Drive and it is a busy Sunday night on the roads. Two older men stagger a little as they pass us, on their way into a car park, as Kai dismounts to wait for the walk sign to cross an extremely busy (read dangerous) road, but they double back and as they pass us one of the extremely middle aged men mutters, “When are the gonna pass a law to get bikes off the footpath?”

Well, I am certainly not letting my 12 year old cycle on roadways that are filled with drink drivers who are protected by antiquated laws that allow people to be protected by their “rights” and not be pulled over without “good cause” in a city with such a poor transport system that everybody drinks and drives as proven by an endless list of celebrities, who obviously have enough money to pay a sober person to drive them, but don’t, then get caught and end up in court over and over again (Lindsey, Paris, Robert……shall I go on?).  Imagine how many people are drinking and driving and not getting caught….don’t get me started……because it scares me and is one of the reasons I mostly stay off the roads at night especially with my son.…

Why did Seal Beach massacre victim Michelle Fournier NOT have a restraining order out on her obviously dangerous and deranged ex husband Scott Dekraai? I do not know her personally however, but having been a victim of domestic violence myself, I can hazard a pretty good guess for why she didn’t. She was scared!

I know it’s a catch 22 situation  – you’re scared of the person threatening you and you need protection but you are scared of igniting their insanity should you do something about it. When you are dealing with an explosive unhinged violent personality and you have kids involved, you do anything you can to keep the peace. I’m not saying she did the right thing but you can’t know the fear you live with until you have been in that situation. You just can’t know what it is like to be genuinely afraid for your life no matter what course of action you take.

I will never forget the day the police tried to serve papers on the very man who was literally, physically holding me down behind the closed door they were knocking on, threatening to “kick me to the curb” (and worse) should I answer their knocks or follow up on the protective orders from the police who had been called out by neighbors on a night he had previously physically assaulted me.…